Sex Life Science

The Sex Test Results Interpretation Guide

The Sex Test by Sex Life Science results dashboard is separated into sections that group test items by category (e.g., demographics, boundaries, sexual touch, etc.). Each test question/item on the results page has its own “widget,” which is a visual display of an item’s results (i.e. a graph, chart, etc.).

Results Filtering

Perhaps the most important tool for understanding test results is filtering. Filtering allows you to narrow test results by variables like genital anatomy and also allows you to see individual test results when filtering by test ID (i.e., your test results or the results of someone who has given you their test ID).

Test Customization

We designed the test to match test takers’ demographics and sexual preferences. This means that not all people complete the same version of The Sex Test. For example, a person who is attracted only to people with a penis will take a test that looks a little different than the one taken by someone who is only attracted to people with a vagina.

Even though we have made attempts to customize the test according to user characteristics, not all questions will seem relevant to individual users. This is likely due to the diverse audience we targeted when designing The Sex Test. The Sex Life Science team has drawn from many years of experience as psychotherapists and researchers, and we have done our best to create a thorough test that covers topics that regularly come up in our practice.

Sample Size & Response Rate

It is crucial to consider sample characteristics and response rate when interpreting test results. Scientists want a sample that is large and demographically diverse because it more accurately reflects the general population. Although results from smaller samples (100-200 participants) are very interesting, they have margins of error in at least the (7%-10% range), making it difficult to pinpoint estimates for the population as a whole. The Sex Life Science team begins to feel more confident about making population inferences when study participants are demographically diverse, sample sizes number in the hundreds, and margins of error are ≤ 5%.

Similarly, response rate influences if we can confidently make inferences about the general population based on test results. Because The Sex Test is a customized test, some questions are not answered as often as others. Be sure to look at the number of responses and compare that number to the total number of people who have taken the test before making inferences about the population or all of those who have taken the test.

Response Types

Color Coding

Most of the questions on the results dashboard are color coded in a green, yellow, red format to help with understanding the following responses:

Color coding makes it easier to quickly scan the results dashboard and understand what it means, whether looking at individual test results or the anonymous results of all those who have taken the test.

Answers displayed in green on the results dashboard indicate that some version of “Yes,” “Liked,” and/or “True” was selected, meaning that the respondent/s indicated a desire to engage in the described behavior. When partners talk about green items it can lead to greater understanding and may make it easier for a couple to enhance their sex life.

Sample questions:

• “When did you realize you liked this?”

• “When do you enjoy this most? I want us to make this as fun as possible for you.”

Answers displayed in yellow on the results dashboard indicate that “Maybe” or “No preference” was selected, meaning that the responded/s felt neutral, uncertain, or had mixed feelings about engaging in the described behavior. We recommend that partners talk about yellow items. They may become something that each partner enjoys or they could very well turn into a “red” item that is not included in partners’ sexual repertoire.

Sample questions:

• “What would you need in order to feel comfortable with this?”

• “What are those things that make you uncertain about doing this?”

Answers displayed in red on the results dashboard indicate that some version of “No,” “Not Liked,” and/or “Untrue” was selected, meaning that the respondent/s indicated no desire to engage in the described behavior. In some instances, red results may have a story behind each “No,” “Not Liked,” and/or “Untrue” selection. Being able to gently ask and understand the “why?” behind these responses can help you and your partner understand one another better.

Sample questions:

• Is there something in particular that made you select “No,” “Not Liked,” and/or “Untrue” for this question/item?

• Is there something that may be helpful for me to know about your “No,” “Not Liked,” and/or “Untrue” answer for this item?

“Usually,” “Sometimes,” “Rarely”

On most of the questions, we allow users to qualify a Yes/Liked/True response. When talking about these responses, partners may benefit from discussing the contexts and factors that play a role in determining when someone “usually,” “sometimes,” or “rarely” desires to engage in a particular act.

Sample questions:

• “When is this something that you like?”

• “Are there things that we say or do together that help you get in the mood to do this?”

“Yes, if my partner likes it”

This response is meant to capture the experience of truly becoming aroused and/or enjoying a sexual activity based on a partner’s response to it. For example, performing oral sex is something that many people enjoy primarily because of how it makes their partner feel rather than because of how their body feels while performing it. In other words, pleasure for the performer comes from bringing a partner enjoyment rather than from receiving arousing physical stimulation.

“Other”

Many test items allow users to choose “other” as a response. When partners (or potential partners) come across this selection, we hope that it triggers a conversation that leads to greater understanding. For example, when we ask respondents about the term/s they use to describe various body parts, selecting “other” would indicate that there are words the respondent prefers that are not included in the list we provided. This would be a great opportunity for partners to talk about what “other” terms they like to use to describe certain body parts.

Sample questions:

• “If you could have written a response to this question, what would it have been?”

• “I see you chose ‘other’ for this item. What other option/s were you thinking about when you picked this?”

“Prefer not to say”

There are many potential reasons why someone would select “Prefer not to say” on any given item. Rather than assuming the reasons why someone would choose this, we recommend that partners ask about the factors that contributed to “Prefer not to say” selections. As psychotherapists, the Sex Life Science team sees these responses as a drawn boundary that should be respected. If someone wants to talk about the reasons for selecting “Prefer not to say,” we think that is great. If someone would rather not discuss the reasons for making this selection, we think that is okay, too.

Sample questions:

• “I don’t want to push you to talk about something that you don’t want to talk about. If you’re willing, would you tell me some of the things that led you to select ‘Prefer not to say’ on this question?”

• “I’d really like to understand your perspective on this, would you mind letting me know what kept you from answering this question?”

Consent

When partners talk about test results, we hope the conversation includes discussion about consent. It is not a good idea to assume that a partner’s “Yes/Liked/True” response on a given item is the same as giving consent to engage in the behavior described in that item during a particular sexual encounter.

We recommend that partners talk about the various ways they prefer to say “yes” or “no” sexually through both verbal and non-verbal communication. Removing ambiguity around both verbal and non-verbal cues can make a sexual relationship more enjoyable.

It’s okay to tell a partner “no.” Partners will not always want the same things at the same time, so saying “no” to a partner is an important ingredient in a satisfying sexual relationship. We recommend saying “no” in terms of what you would like to do rather than in what you do not want to do. For example, saying “I think it would be more fun to try this position instead,” is often more pleasant to hear than “No, that position doesn’t sound like fun.”

In our clinical experience, partners that talk about consent and support honest feedback before, during, and after sex tend to have the most satisfying sexual relationships.

Sample questions:

• “Can we agree to let one another know when we’d like to try something or not try something sexually?”

• “What will you say and do to let me know that I’m doing the things that you want and enjoy most?”

Preferred Terms & Words

Because the words we use during sex can influence sexual satisfaction, we created items to help people identify their preferred sexual vocabulary. We don’t expect partners to always prefer the same words. However, talking with your partner and establishing a shared sexual dialogue can be exciting and intimate. It may even help you better use language to improve your sex life. We hope these items help partners get more comfortable talking about sex.

Sample questions:

• “I notice that you selected some words that I’ve never heard you use before. Would you like to start using them? Would you like me to start using them?”

• “I realize that some of the things I’ve said in the past aren’t on your preferred words list. Does this mean you’d like me to stop using them?”

Defining Sex

People define sex differently. Our clinical experience has taught all of us on the Sex Life Science team that people often benefit from establishing a shared definition of “sex” with their partner. Section 5 of The Sex Test asks respondents to identify whether or not they consider certain partnered behaviors sex (e.g., Is kissing/cuddling naked sex?) or something else (i.e., not sex/foreplay). Coming to a shared definition of sex with one’s partner removes uncertainty and uncommunicated expectations that may eventually lead to disagreements and dissatisfaction both sexually and relationally.

Drawing Boundaries

In section 6 of The Sex Test, we ask respondents to indicate whether or not they would engage in various activities with members of their attraction spectrum (i.e., people who are members of a demographic group that they often find attractive) in a one-on-one setting. These questions are meant to reveal someone’s physical boundary standards with others. This information can be helpful when determining relationship compatibility and fidelity boundaries. For example, a couple who took The Sex Test and shared their results would know at what point friendly interaction becomes romantic contact. In other words, they would have a clear definition of romantic fidelity in their relationship.

Topics Not Covered

The Sex Test by Sex Life Science is not a comprehensive, complete, and total inventory of any and all things that could possibly be liked, wanted, or desired in sex or a relationship. A truly comprehensive test like that would likely be many, many hundreds if not thousands of questions and it would take several hours or more to complete.

We have designed The Sex Test to produce a thorough list of sexual likes and dislikes that people can use to understand themselves better or that they could use when talking about sex and relationships with their partner. We encourage you to ask your partner about anything important that may not have been asked about directly in The Sex Test.

Sample questions:

• “Is there anything that you wished The Sex Test would have asked that it didn’t?”

• “Are there things not covered on The Sex Test that will help me to know you even better?”

What is normal?

Because users who take the test are able to see how their results compare to those of others around the world who have taken the test, many people find it comforting (and perhaps exciting) to know that others share some of their sexual preferences.

As researchers and therapists, we don’t put much value on how common or “normal” a particular sexual preference is. On a planet with billions of people, a “rare” sexual taste common to just 1% of the population is shared by over tens of millions of people! Rather than defining what is “normal,” our primary purpose for creating The Sex Test is to help others understand and talk about their sexual preferences. We hope our test leads partners toward constructive conversation as they create their own (highly satisfying) “normal.” 

What is sexual compatibility?

Being sexually compatible with someone means that you have enough in common to have a mutually satisfying sexual relationship. It does not mean that you have everything in common.

Imagine a relationship in which Partner A likes 100 things sexually and Partner B likes 50 and they share 35 sexual likes in common. Determining this couple’s sexual compatibility requires more than knowing how many sexual likes they have in common. Amongst other factors, the level of importance the partners put on their likes also plays a role. If the 35 sexual likes shared by both partners happen to be some of the most important to them, we like their chances of being sexually compatible.

Just as we don’t have to have a table full of every food we like in order to have a satisfying meal, partners often don’t have to share every sexual preference in order to have a satisfying sexual relationship.

What makes couples incompatible?

Having a dissatisfying sexual relationship is often a temporary state for couples, so determining whether or not a couple is sexually incompatible can be challenging. Sometimes disagreement on a single topic could be enough to make a couple incompatible sexually. For example, if one partner wanted sex weekly and another wanted it yearly and neither was open to shifting their perspective, it seems likely that they would be sexually incompatible. Similarly, if a particular sex act was essential for one partner’s satisfaction and off limits for the other partner, it gets difficult to see how they can become sexually compatible. Other times, it is the combination of several differences in sexual preferences that lead partners to a dissatisfying sex life.

As psychotherapists, we encourage partners to seek professional support if they find themselves in a dissatisfying sexual relationship. It can be challenging to navigate questions like “Am I willing to reconsider how I view my partner and my sexual preferences?”, and “Am I open to influence and trying new things?” We believe many will benefit from talking about questions like these with a licensed professional.

Many of our clients over the years have seen significant improvements in their sex life and relationship simply because they were both committed to making changes and talking about things in therapy.

Is more (or less) better?

People who like more sexually are not better or worse than people who like less. As psychotherapists, we care more about people understanding the pros and cons of their sexual decisions and couple compatibility than we care about the number of things people want to do sexually.

Tastes Change

It is not uncommon for sexual likes and dislikes to evolve over time. Tastes change with age, experience, and other factors (e.g., pregnancy). We recommend that people retake The Sex Test periodically (i.e., once a year or so) in order to keep their results up-to-date.

Inaccurate Responses

Not all item responses will be accurate. There are times when users mistakenly select a response that does not accurately reflect how they feel. It is also possible that a question was misunderstood or that people will change their minds from the time they took the test to the time their partner is reviewing their test results.

Because of the potential for inaccurate responses, we think it is wise for partners to double check the accuracy of their responses before acting on the information provided in their test results.

Be Yourself

It is our hope that people will feel empowered by taking The Sex Test by Sex Life Science. We want your test experience to be fun and your results to give you a set of talking points to share with your partner.

We do not want anyone to feel pressured to conform to what others may like. Of course, we think it could be okay to want to try something based on others’ test results, but we do not want anyone to feel embarrassed or pushed to perform sex acts that they do not enjoy or want to explore. We also don’t want partners to refrain from certain behaviors they do like because some other people are not interested in them.

As psychotherapists, each of us on the Sex Life Science team has seen many people use information like that provided by The Sex Test to enhance their sexual relationship and grow closer to their partner. At Sex Life Science, we believe that smart sex is better sex, so be encouraged that knowing more about yourself (and your partner) is often a huge step toward a more satisfying sex life.